Peek-a-boo!

the machine

i don't know when the official last day was, but the machine was getting used less and less.  i had intentions of using it.  then i got hit with a lot of work that had to be done like yesterday and today it was too late and you can't step away for two seconds to pee let alone to take time to pump.  seriously... i got a text message while i went to the bathroom asking where i was because i had important business types lurking around my desk and then asking others where i was.  yeah, sometimes work gets a little crazed.

so, last week i packed up the machine and the spare bottles, breast shields (what kind of term is that anyway?!  it brings to mind images of armor intended to shield from arrows and bows or a riot police shield.  but this is a shield only because of it's shape - not meant to protect the boob from flying objects.), storage bags and tubing.  and now it sits in my spare bedroom.  i want to sell it on craigslist but am feeling oddly attached to it.  finding myself thinking... what if i just used once in the morning.  what if i NEEEEEEED it.  what if we go out and i should really pump to keep up my supply.  what if, what if, what if...

my lil one is over a year old and she loves to nurse.  she will put her hands down my shirt and grab for them if i don't immediately give her milk when she frantically signs milk with both hands. so i really think it is time to 'let go'.  i was never in love with pumping but i think it is a milestone that i haven't completely accepted.  my baby is growing up and the time was short.  the frozen milk is almost gone.

it is time to get rid of the machine.