to VBAC or not to VBAC

that is the question. it really is hard for me... still. I really want to have a more 'normal' delivery and yes a c-section is normal. but, I don't really want to be cut open. not on my list of 'to do'.

and I know that women have very successful vbac's. but, there is the usual fear about passing a child through the vaginal canal and the possible tearing, etc. and does it really matter that much when the end result is a healthy child? there isn't going to be any badge that says "I did a vbac". am I turning into the total hippie chick and want to green everything including my labor? I don't think I am that 'green' yet, because i'm sure i would want an epidural. drugs can be a good thing!

and I know it shouldn't factor in, but it does. I would get 8 weeks of 'disability' pay for a c-section and only 6 weeks for a vbac. it factors in because I want to be able to stay home with this baby as long as possible. we all know how tight this economy is right now. plus, we have renters whose lease is up at the end of October and we don't know if they are staying or going. and things are tight with two incomes.

so right now leaning towards a c-section... suprisingly.